How to Write a Truly Cheesy Joke

Although most, if not all, of these fall into the much maligned “Dad Jokes” category, I actually mean jokes about cheese. Most cheese jokes are pretty cheesy anyway, so they usually end up double-cheesed. So if you like your jokes cheesy, this might be right up your alley.

So how do you write a new, unique, ultra-cheesy joke?

While not the funniest of people myself, please allow me to humbly suggest some ideas that might help you create the next big thing in cheesy comedy.

Your preferred recording device (pen and paper, voice recorder, phone, etc.) so that you don’t come up with the best cheese joke ever and then forget it. 

(Anyone else constantly think of Sean Connery in 1992’s Medicine Man?

“I found a cure for the plague of the 20th century and now I’ve lost it!”

No? OK, well, yeah, never mind then.)

One way to make a cheesy joke is to make a pun that exploits the similarities in sound between a type of cheese and other words.

Need some *examples?

What kind of cheese doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese! (You really have to say it so it's sounds like "Not your cheese!"

What kind of cheese could you hide a small horse behind?

Mascarpone! (It helps if you say this in the Queen's English so it sounds like "mask a pony")

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory?

All that was left was debris! (the brie - OK, I'm sure you've got it now)

What's the cheesiest line Shakespeare ever wrote?

To brie or not to brie, that is the question

There are still hundreds of cheese out there just waiting to be made into puns. Choose one you like and see if you can make it fly!

*Disclaimer: I didn't write any of these cheese jokes, though I wish I did! They're in the public domain and have been around forever.

Not all cheese jokes are ridiculous puns. Some are terribly clever riddles which can be worked out by only the keenest minds. Here are a few, along with arguably the best cheese joke ever:

What's the saddest cheese there is?

Blue cheese (OK, still a bit punny. Sue me.)

What do they call it when cheeses sit around and complain that there’s nothing to do?

Cheese board / bored. (Still a pun, but a bit crafty.)

And now for my favourite... <...drumroll...>

What kind of cheese is made backwards?

EDAM <<<

Obviously there is an incredible amount of thought put into these jokes, but if you're crafty enough, you could just come up with a hall-of-fame-worthy cheese joke for the ages!

There are really 2 main strategies to delivering cheesy jokes; strategic and brute force.

Strategic Delivery: This involves working a cheese joke into a conversation, and works best with a straight face.

My folks live in an area with bears and I asked them if the city workers ever some around and trap bears. When they said they did, they were already in MY trap. I said I heard that they usually use cheese in the bear traps and they actually asked "What kind?" Camembert! (It's a stretch, but you can make this sound like "Come on, bear!").

Yes! Pure comedy gold!!!

Brute Force: You can knock your audience's socks off with a carefully prepared onslaught of cheese jokes, prepared as a cheese suite. Be sure to also pepper in some cheese related comments, like "That last joke was a bit immature!" or "This one is a it old but has aged well."

Just be careful not to push things too far or your jokes might grate on the audience XD

This whole Instructable is my cheese joke and maybe it stinks, but I hope you can think up some whoppers of your own. With sharp minds working on the problem, I think we can create a new world's best cheese joke!