Edible Eyeballs With Bloody "Dripping Sauce"

  

you’ll get your…

 

…just desserts…          

 

 

eyeballs in grave dirt; fresh or aged

with

bloody “dripping sauce”

...and other variations.

 

The day before……

 

Eyeball Prep:

Start with ingredients;

“Whites of the eyes”

“Irises” (the colored bit)

“Pupils”

 

Have a séance to contact your guests or just take a guess at what they taste like...I mean what their tastes are.

 CAUTION: some squeamish sissies won't eat eyeballs- don't invite them, they sound dull anyhow.

The “Whites” can be flavored many ways…

 

Cheesecake- tend to look aged…like zombie or mummy eyes. 

{packaged mix and milk- reserve crust mix}

Oreo pie- very white and healthy looking but not very shiny

{again; packaged mix and milk- reserve crust mix}

Flan (without the caramel)- for your more discerning ghosts

{mix or "from (old) scratch”- your call}

Blancmange- lovely presentation for any day of the year

{the real thing but use a metal or porcelain mold)

or

Tembleque- pure white, coconut pudding, shiny, alert looking.

{mix or home made –recipe included later)

 

It’ll be your decision as to the type of crowd you’ll be feeding; I tend to go with the cheesecake/oreo pie combo for the younger set, tembleque works for any age but, I reserve Flan or blancmange for the more mature palette.

 

“Irises”

 

Grapes

Seedless, black, purple, red, and green- one handful each for lots of variety

Pre-slice each grape into thirds- two ends and about a ¼ inch center slice.

If you feel the need; melting chocolate discs or rolled out tootsie rolls make good dark brown eyes, however, the darker grapes’ ends look pretty good too, and the tootsie rolls do degrade quickly.

 

 

“Pupils”

 

Dark chocolate chips-a mix of tiny and normal dark chocolate chips, this will allow for tiny, drugged pupils and large ""dilated" frightened pupils.

and if you’re way into anime you might want to try white or other colors.

 

 

Any mold that produces a half sphere will work; having one flat side makes them much easier to deal with...(don't ask).
I use old Jello Easter egg molds and a round ice cube tray that I've had forever.  The side of the Jello molds with the hole is easiest to use because of the "straw release" tip (later; be patient) but if you are careful both sides will work.
*Just don't forget to oil the insides of your molds lightly; too much means slime bubbles in end product; not enough will end in the product not meeting your high standards.

AFTER lightly oiling the inside of your molds, place your Iris-pupil combination into the round part of the mold chocolate chip down and slightly off center (they look better and the “pupils” are less likely to fall out while they set) BUT still covering the release hole in the bottom. (I have also considered little marshmallow”plugs” for the holes). If you have a different type of mold it’s still kinda fun to have them looking around in all directions. 

...trembleque...tembleque...trembley....whatever...here's my fave recipe:

Tembleque  (coconut custard dessert)

Ingredients:


1 13.5 oz can coconut milk
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup cornstarch
1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp vanilla flavor

Procedure:Blend all ingredients except vanilla thoroughly. Cook in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring continuously, until it thickens. Add the vanilla, stir and remove from heat.Pour in individual dessert cups or a shallow dish. Cover and refrigerate for several hours or overnight.

to credit where credit is due: dollarman.com

Prepare “Whites”:  in your choice in flavor(s) but, when the whites are ready the process needs to go quickly.

Follow instructions on box for “filling” part only (we’ll use the crust later) or follow tembleque recipe found in step 7.

When filling is finished pour quickly into the molds (if it starts to set it will leave bubble in the eyes- really compromising the whole effect.) 
Wiggle or tap (lightly) to release any bubbles. 
* if any chocolate chips fall out don’t worry- we’ll fix them later and you won’t be able to tell.

Put them in the fridge to set.

Go do other stuff.

 

Sprinkle a little "grave dirt" (graham cracker or oreo crumbs work best) on each eyeball while they are still in the molds- this will make them easier to move later.
There are few things as annoying as having an eyeball stuck to your good china.

It's about time to flip out, do it gently, onto a crumb covered surface.

Good advice no matter how you take it.

Once in a while you may have a problem with an eyeball that doesn't flop politely and quietly out of the mold   ...BE CAREFUL  ...this may be the dreaded "Evil eye" but, with the proper training in this Instructable you'll be able to handle this crisis should it come about.

Just poke it out.

Turn the mold over and stick a straw (clean) or skewer into the hole and gently poke it out.

This eye should cause you no further problems; you have saved the world.

        (and don't you feel just a little like Buffy?)

I promised you this cure earlier - in step 4 or so...soooo..

If any of the pupils have fallen out or look funny the cure is simple:  take the old chip out carefully (if you need to) and replace with a new chocolate chip. 

(see photo for reference)

TA DA

Take a few drops of red food color and a couple of water, use a toothpick or skewer and draw red veins from the bottom up or iris down.

I tend to bleed my corpses before eyeball extraction- it keeps the eyes all pretty and white but I wanted to show you the option.
 

Presentation means how it looks (at you).

Choose your method of serving- a large platter can be set up nicely or each eye can be served in a cupcake paper of it’s own (good for buffet style with kids -so their food doesn’t touch other food).

Mix grave dirt: Oreo crumbs and graham crumbs- chunks are fine (rocks). 

Apply eyeball.

Listen for screams...   sweet screams...

 

Come on- how often are you going to make eyeballs for your friends really?

Freak them out!
Make a scene!!

Grave dirt can go anywhere, then plop an eye on it, use black food color to make "granite" rice krispy headstones, cotton candy spiderwebs; make it look spooky....the tembleque looks amazing under black lights...

Serve with age-appropriate libations; green slime punch, red wine,  vodka tonics (only fun with a black light).

My fondest hope, my friends, that you enjoy this as much as I have.

Now for a couple of extra tips that the camera missed
   ...and my lawyer suggests I not admit to having photo evidence of...

“Bloody goo(d)” finish:

The finishing flourish is the bloody dripping sauce- short on prep but long on effect:

Open a can of cherry or strawberry pie filling and either offer as-is or mix in a bit of chocolate syrup and share a moment with special effects artists of old; the red is made a bit less gel like by the chocolate but stays dark red (like real blood). 

Mwah ha ha!

The included fruit looks really disgusting too- leave it in!

A pool of Bloody goo around the bottom of a realistically gory, yet tasty, eyeball really is the Pièce de résistance.

Serving them on a clean white tray in puddles of bloody dripping sauce might be nice too...

 

Serve the eyeballs not with grave dirt and bloody goo, but on a plush bed of Muppet pelt!

Cotton candy, widely available, under the eyeballs will really make them look twice!